Wendell the Vampire Crasher

by James von Dielingen 


Hello, my name is Wendell, I work in the museum. 

I found this invitation cleaning out the mausoleum. 

It says there is a shindig here for Vampires of the night. 

I don't know what a vampire is, but I came tonight in spite. 

I hope you do not mind that I crashed your little party. 

I tried to be on time but ended up a little tardy. 

So what exactly is a vampire? Is it something I should know? 

Is a vampire cute and cuddly with a warm inviting glow? 

Is a vampire moist and smelly like a teen’s athletic sock? 

Or is it grand and complex like an antique cuckoo clock? 

Okay, I get it, I wasn't invited and you want me to go, 

But, it's been so long since I've been out for anything, you know? 

Oh my, you're rather friendly! Whoa! Keep those teeth in check! 

What? What is it? What? Is there something on my neck?