Prison

by James von Dielingen

There’s something that I must say to you

For fear you might never have learned

About what a life of crime can do

When your last citation is earned

Prison, you see, is not that much fun

You’re constantly locked up and watched

You can’t leave your block till your sentence is done

Good behavior can never be botched

No punching of necks or kicking of shins

No shivving is ever allowed

No selling cigars, no stabbing with pins

No yelling “Fire!” into a crowd

No cutting off fingers or shredding of faces

No biting, fish hooking, or hanging

No gauging, no smacking, no whipping with laces

No kidney punches or head banging

No laundry escapes or faking of ills

No shoveling under the wall

No soft downy pillows or other such frills

No, not any comforts at all

The moral, today, of my ill written warning

Should be quite simplistic to see

If ever you wake mischievous in the morning

Remember this warning from me

Don’t break the law, whatever you do,

The results will never be good.

Even if you aren’t caught, you may still go “Boo-hoo!”,

‘Cause your conscience will sadden your mood.

Be a good person and obey the law

It isn’t that difficult to do.

Unless it’s your taxes that pulled the last straw

‘Cause I can’t figure ‘em out, can you?