Tyrone P Maples

by James von Dielingen

Tyrone P Maples
Pulled twenty-five staples
That lodged themselves into his thumb

He had naught to blame
But his own horrid aim
And a rusty big ole staple gun

Kelly O'Roarke

by James von Dielingen

Kelly O'Roarke
Ate nothing but pork
And nothing else went on her plate

She lost her appeal
When she started to squeal
For Kelly became what she ate

Myra Van Dane

by James von Dielingen

Myra van Dane
Was going insane
While nobody else was looking

Now all of her friends
Are facing their ends
In a giant stew pot Myra's cooking