Igor's Lunch

by James von Dielingen

My name is Igor the Hunchback

I’m trying to get back my lunch sack

It was stolen today

By some boys down the way

But I want my sweet granola crunch back!

I’ll jump down the Gothic bell tower

And land on my neighbor's large bower

I’ll chase down the thieves

And tear off their sleeves

And into a corner they’ll cower

I’ll take back my lunch with grand relish

They’ll find me quite grotesque and hellish

I’ll return home in victory

And then have a big story

On which I’ll take time to embellish

But I find violence much too scary

And over the years I've grown wary

So I’ll sit here instead

And eat stale moldy bread

Safe up here in my sanctuary