Frank

by James von Dielingen

For Show and Tell this morning, I brought my best friend Frank.

My Grandpa had to hitch the trailer just to bring his tank.

He has to stay behind the glass; he’s not like any dog,

And he’s very hard to see through all his respiration fog.

Frank’s in there, really, it’s no fib! He’s actually quite shy.

He breathes a special mixture of phosphorus and lye.

His tank is rather large, you see, it’s ten feet by eleven.

The height is ten again, well actually more like ten foot seven.

At over 10 feet high, Frank only barely has to stoop.

I only let him out at night, or when he has to poop.

For lunch Frank eats raw meat which has sat out and gotten rank.

That’s why I only give him meals inside his smokey tank.

I guess I could remove him from his glassy, foggy home;

But I’ll have to keep him tethered, so he won’t get loose and roam.

Come out, Frankie buddy, it’s time to take a stretch!

Just brace yourself and breathe deeply so you don’t gag and wretch.

Hey guys, wait! Don’t run away! Where’d everybody go?

What good is Show and Tell, if I don’t ever get to show?

Constance Olivia Strump

by James von Dielingen

Constance Olivia Strump

Lived in a horrible dump.

She attempted a while to live life in style.

She found it a pain in her rump.

Strump's house was covered in litter. 

She decided the trash didn't fit her

New lifestyle of glam, of pâté and lamb,

The garbage it made her quite bitter.

Her messiness covered the floor,

From the back to the entrance door.

The wrappers and peels, the sneakers and heels

Obscured the Art Deco decor.

The kitchen was buried in food,

In prunes half-eaten and stewed,

In crumbs by the scores, and apple-y cores,

And remnants too gross to include.

The den was the best of the rooms,

But still made you sick from the fumes

Of rotting decay from a year-old bouquet

And the greenest of mildew-y blooms.

An excess of garment displacement

Was located down in the basement,

Where socks and hose and other such clothes

Were in desperate need of replacement.

Her dining room looked like a stable.

To sit down and eat, you weren’t able.

The place was concealed by the fat that congealed 

To her great grandma's dining room table.

Constance Strump tried her best to clean

Her house to a beautiful sheen.

Work filled her with dread, so she chose to instead

Pack up and move somewhere green.

So, before long all of her rooms

Were emptied and swept up by brooms

From all of her neighbors who chipped in their labors

In all but her scary bathrooms.

Those living near her abode

Were glad she was hitting the road.

The soon vacant lot would surely be bought

By someone who'd keep the lawn mowed.

But, much to the neighbors' dismay,

Ms. Strump decided to stay.

"How can I leave when what I perceive

Are you people who've helped me this day!"

"Since we have cleaned up my gear,

I might as well just remain here!

I don't need to improve by an expensive move!

We'll just do this again next year!"

Ode to a Hangnail

by James von Dielingen

Hangnail, oh hangnail

You monarch of pests!

For so long you've racked me

with the painiest tests!

I quest to maintain

my sanity, while you

work my last nerve till

I run myself through.

Oh Pain of all pains,

how you haunt me all day!

I bite and I snip but

you don't go away!

You bothersome nuisance

at the tip of my finger,

please leave here at once!

Don't dally or linger.

I may take a knife to 

Cut off this digit!

I’ll have to be sure

To keep still and not fidget

Wait! What have I done?

I have bitten you gone!

Now with what will I fiddle

or obsess upon?

Hangnail, oh, hangnail!

I miss you, old boy!

You gave me a purpose,

and brought me such joy!

To think I would cut you 

away with a knife!

Hold on. Wait a minute.

I must get a life!

It's a Bloggy Bloggy Blog Blog!!!

I started this blog as an experiment to encourage myself, and hopefully others, to write more often. It's a place to post poems for fun, analysis, and suggestions. I will be posting my own work, as well as works sent to poetryoddballs@gmail.com


Here are the rules:
1) It is up to the administrator's discretion as to what gets posted to this blog.
2) No prose! Sorry, we're rhymers here!
3) No foul language or subject matter. That's for a different blog.
4) I like food, a good story, and funny sounding words. Also, the weirder, the better!
5) Keep your comments constructive. The administrator can and will delete unhelpful comments.
6) No plagiarism. You do, you're out for good.
7) HAVE FUN!!!